I just made out with a guy for $7.
Dude someone changed all the contacts in my phone to I Like Eggs
I haven't seen Daniella all day...are you sure she was safe going home with that guy?
oh don't worry! i asked him if he was a rapist. he said no
he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
why are there beer bottles in my dishwasher?
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I must stop trying to make out with my friends when I'm hammered.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Randomize
