My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Asian chick on skype stripping for me. Hold on give few min
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
NO ITS THAT IM A SEXUAL DEVIANT AND CANT FILTER MYSELF
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I didn’t want a minivan, but I have to admit it’s made it a lot easier to hook up with the dilfs at soccer tournaments
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