She's like the female version of the Momento guy. She keeps forgetting that I'm an asshole after we have sex.
I just got a rly sharp new razor and was shaving down there...
and?
RIP clitoris
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
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I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
You rode your bike four miles to my house. Yelled "I'm so high!" Then crashed into his car. It's a problem.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize