dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Who would have sex with her? She looks like she shops at baby gap
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
If you go to the bathroom don't ask why there's diet coke on the toilet. Loller copter. Blow is fun.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
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