this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like your nipple is comforting my nipple.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
We had sex on the bear rug. He said "you, me and the bear. This is bear-idise"
I just need you to appreciate that this is the first time I've ever been cut off and it's at an airport bar in Philly before 1 o'clock in the afternoon.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
you were so drunk that when the mouse on your laptop didnt work anymore you decided to just take it into the bathroom and pee on it while laughing like a mad scientist.
Randomize