dude i woke up to 20 missed calls from you, 3 from a blocked number and had 13 voicemails that all said "send me a picture of your tits."
so im guessing thats a no.....
Every time I type "should" my phone autocorrects to "shouldn't". even my phone knows my ideas are terrible.
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
It went from "haha, this will be funny" to "full blown anime porn fetish"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Yep. It's going to be us, strippers, and drag queens.
A glittery, gay, heavily makeuped, scantily dressed clusterfuck.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I threw up soo much that I started crying. Then his grandma randomly came in and started rubbing my back...
Randomize