we made out on top of his cat.
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
My favorite part of the day is the 2 seconds of ignorance you have when you first wake up. Right before you remember where your mouth was last night.
This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
So you had sex with my brother?
It sounds like you dont need me to answer that.
Have introduced beer-pong to my work's Tuesday lunches.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
The problem is drunk me is completely unaware how poor I am
Well, thats the first guy to go to jail because of my vagina
Post that event on your timeline
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
