Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
I told her the white crusty stuff on my boxers was frosting not cum. She seemed MORE grossed out then
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
She asked the woman in the drive through to cover everything she ordered in mayonnaise, including here chilli cheese fries. Didn't happen. Then she started swerving at the car next to us screaming, asking if they had mayonnaise.
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There now exists video of me holding a (recently emptied) bottle of Russian Standard vodka, trying to sing the Russian national anthem.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
my bed is a shrine, and I am its goddess.
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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