i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
it was like having sex with a tree stump
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
I don't know what it is about vodka that make me ruin relationships.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
When he texted me, I got a little wet. Until he asked me to get Jimmy Johns before I got to his house.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Maybe if you would fuck your boss you would get string cheese too
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Randomize
