I find it ironic that im starting my birth control on mothers day.
You coming out tonight? We gotta hang out before I move to Madison. BTW I'm moving to Madison.
four loko is apparently banned in the us. so i think its time for us to stock up. i already emailed them about buying them in bulk
The kid next to me is typing a powerpoint presentation.. title: Reasons to Wear a Condom, subtitle: The Ian Story
The first slide was titled: You Could Get a Girl Pregnant.
I have no idea what's going on.... I just want to wear my horse sweatshirt and drink vodka.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
Just sucked a bong hit straight from my girlfriends mouth & pretended I was a Dementor. Life just 87% more like HP.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
was I really that bad?
you army crawled across the kitchen floor, turned the cat into "super kitty" and crawled into the dog cage
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Randomize
