i was born a porn star she said
So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I Pavlov-trained him by smacking him in the nuts anytime I caught him looking at another girl in public. To this day, he's afraid to break eye contact with me in a restaurant if a tall busty blonde walks in.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
Can you imagine doing supermarket sweep in a sex store? What's the sex store equivalent of a whole ham?
its liver damage thursday
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
Randomize
