8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I'm slightly more gay than I thought. I'd go so far as to say I'm a top.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
He told me I smelled like fruit loops and then bit me on the tit
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
It's okay to masturbate while watching the Comey testimony right?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
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