yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Don't bite the hand that gives you multiple orgasms
just found my calculator watch from 6th grade. the hipster transformation is complete
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
6 other girls and I took an ice cream truck to the bar when we couldn't get a cab. Best birthday ever.
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
Too lazy to get out of my bed thats 2 feet away from you. Are you sure youre alright?
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
I called 911 when they kicked me out of the bar last night.
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
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