areolas are like halos for boobs.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
ugh I gave him morning sex and he doesn't even text me back for my bagel order
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
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