Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Sitting at a bar next to a guy wearing sunglasses drinking a pitcher by himself and having an argument with himself over if journey is more ballin than kiss. Feel better about myself.
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Take this only to mean that we love you, but we're having a serious, half-hour, hypothetical discussion about how far we think we could throw you.
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
I walked into a McDonalds at 8:30 am with a half-eaten apple and a solo cup. Never felt so judged.
It's gameday bitch. Man up.
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
I mean it could have been worse, I could have been sober.
Me and my liver are not on speaking terms.
Please come to class. I miss you and I have a horse mask
Randomize
