also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
When I said to give it to me hard and fast, I didn't mean like 15 seconds fast.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You puked on yourself, then demanded to take shower. In which you kept saying "its raining"
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
..needless to say, i got fired. But I'm in the parking lot tanning on top of your car... so its not all bad.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Randomize
