I missed Saved by the Bell this morning, but Ashley in a later episode of Fresh Prince is keeping the morning wood alive.
The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
I wiped my mouth this morning with a pine tree branch after I threw up on the side of the road. Tis the season
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Y'know i appreciate how accepting you are of me being a terrible person.
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I stared at his dick and then told him to get on his knees
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