none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
He was eating her out on the elevator. What a good man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
so I guess I made a note in my phone last night to remind myself not to do shrooms on the cruise ship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
He's super sweet. I feel like I'm dating Elmo. If Elmo had a 7 incher
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
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