Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
I drove two hours just to throw up on myself today at the beach. My family saw the whole thing and my younger cousin cried
Who knew you could get a drunk in public when jogging with your dog?
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
id one day like to live in a world full of emotionless and wonderfully fullfilling sex...
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
You could be a whistle.. And just ask bitches if they want to blow you all night
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I just got home and spray-tanned my boyfriend. That's the side of relationships they don't tell you about...
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
Randomize
