i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
What a tease, dude. She's giving me emotional blue balls.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
My brother is wearing glitter eyeshadow and split leg skinny jeans
You've been usurped as King of the Gays
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
We are gonna have a bake sale and the preceded will go towards the abortion
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
