I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
So many bounce houses so little time
He was showing him the picture of the 40 year old woman he made out with in Florida, turns out Chris made out with the same woman.
Go her
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
And that's the fourth pair of yoga pants with unwashable stains from you.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
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