she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I wanna get "leaving my dick in charge" drunk.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
Siri just reminded me to pickup Plan B
Well I tried to call you. I was convinced my body was made of wood. But the Xmas lights in my room helped
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Randomize
