its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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