just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
Only a mothe r could love this liver
my vag is so smooth its legendary
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
You might have to deal with a coked up ex pan American gold medalist wrestler when you get back to the room
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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