I'm putting on too much make up bc I'm stoned
Do you have a straightener and are extra lubricated condoms not the norm?
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
Yah man, that place is surreal
Man, I'm from Tennessee. What the fuck is surreal?
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
this celing is unfamiliar to me... im just vaguely wondering where i am. but not quite concerned enough to do anything about it.
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
I arrived home at 7am wearing nothing but my underwear and a fedora. I ate half a dozen deviled eggs. Put Katy Perry on repeat. And cried myself to sleep. We cannot go out on Thursday anymore
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
I used to shoot steroids in my ass but for a totally different reason
Randomize
