what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
Seriously though, we're going to drink and watch Survivor first one to puke gets voted off the island
I want you more than these girls want KFC
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
Please tell me why 'cock-a-thon' was auto saved in my phone.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
He was so drunk he was throwing the bowling balls into other lanes on purpose. He still beat my high score thought.
I'm wearing a cape at the laundromat. I really can't say shit
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
We had a pink drink in honor of my underwear and apparently I made out with our bartender... a few times
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
