YOu come back ASAP and we will do whatever you want baby
so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
My life is like the prequel to "40 Year Old Virgin"
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
And then you proceeded to sneak behind thee bar and hold up an empty bottle of vodka and scream LOOK WHO THE BARTENDER IS NOW BITCH!
I'm back here naked if anyones wondering
I totally intended to come to the hotel, but I woke up in a parking lot
The struggle is real.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
nm just hungover. watching movies and roasting marshmallows in bed, over a candle to avoid life
his mom fetish really needs to stop. this is literally the 5th time i've come home from work and there's been some random skank and her kids in the living room.
did one of the kids use their poo like a crayon on the wall this time?
So you can text and rub it at the same time? Bravo.
I can do anything and masturbate, if I truly wanted to.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
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