I'm sorry my penis didn't work
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
The entire defensive line took care if me when I passed out. One of them even held my hair when I puked and the other carried me upstairs to bed. God I love football so much more now
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
Is "You've never made me cum." an acceptable breakup line?
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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