he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I can't remember if the bartender cut you off after you broke your glass or after you wished the bar a happy winter solstice during your karaoke number.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
We fucked in your water heater closet. Told you we'd try everywhere.
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
Just found a pic on my phone of you on squatting on the hood of a police car about to take a dump. Care to explain what happened last night?
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
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