I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
Dude, she gave me a handski that literally felt like she was starting a lawn mower...
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
I just feel like everything is too perfect
He's probably a serial killer or chronic masturbator
Or both. Which is common
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
THERE IS A MOTHERFUCKING HUMMINGBIRD FLYING AROUND IN OUR HOUSE RIGHT NOW HOW DO I GET IT OUT????
Randomize