In the future we'll all be gay
I have demons in me.
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
He came into the hospital yelling "HEY EVERYBODY! REMEMBER ME?"
I'm flagged. Drank strippers water. Flashed Dave tryin to get a job here. You order the shots. Green tea betch.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I'm drunk, I'm covered in pizza, and I'm watching Jurassic Park. I feel like you'll get this. xx
Oh my lord it is too early in the morning to be that horny freak
my vagina doesn't wear a watch
I fucked him while wearing his hat. I love the navy
Being home for break is weird, just had a full convo with my dad about what I wanted for dinner, while a dildo was on top of me under my comforter
Idk... I'm not sure why anyone would use a flesh light in general. Let alone hook it up to a wifi device.
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