that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just rolled over and realized my vodka goggles are not as functional as my beer goggles
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
Her dress is practically falling off. It must know I'm here.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
Today's face brought to you by last night's make-up.
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
I woke up this morning to find myself laying in a beer puddle with "I'm sorry" written on the shaft of my dick and Nicole was nowhere to be found. Gotta love her
Don't try to butter me sideways
That is without a doubt the most Southern thing you have ever said.
Randomize
