I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
Cops on bikes. I think I can outrun them.
Why is your solution always to masturbate
Because it usually works
You introduced her by saying, "This is the girl who sexes me." Then you passed out on the coffee table.
Randomize
