i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I knew no one else would have gone along with it since it's morally wrong and probably illegal. You said, "Yes. And let's add fireworks."
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
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