Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
We were confused who drove until we went outside and her cupholders were torn out of the dash and laying on the ground
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Why is there a waffle in the knife drawer?
The real question is why are there knives in the waffle drawer.
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
Randomize
