just used a paint mixing cup as a shot glass. thank u art school.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
had my ear almost bitten off in foreplay. the sex gods do not like me.
He came up behind me making dolphin noises in my ear when I noticed a collection of hors d'ouevres from the reception earlier in his jacket pocket
I will never doubt you again...he IS perfect for you
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I made a side by side comparison of her Facebook pic and the chick on the anti meth billboards. Plus a ven diagram showing mostly shared physical attributes. I sent u the PowerPoint. You were sufficiently warned.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Please tell me why we have been neighbors since elementary school and waited until the night before I moved to fuck.
Randomize
