It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
Is it sad I memorized the exact change required for a #7 at Wendy's?
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
You should have seen the look on the cashiers face when I was buying steel reserve with a suit on.
I just got fire extinguished by his roommate while we were having sex. That's just taking cock blocking to a whole new level.
I was thinking of baby names while I was giving him a blow job
he told me he was watching a movie and he'd be over later and i asked how long. he said 8 inches give or take. you cease to amaze me with the guys you set me up with.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Let's go dancing. I wanna sprain an ankle. And a labia. My labia or yours. I'm not picky.
I am going to buy some m-80's and keep a bucket of them in the bathroom. That way I can just depth charge the toilet before each time I use it. Lets see how those snakes like cheap Chinese explosives
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
WHY THE FUCK DID I HAVE TO FALL IN LOVE WITH A CONVICT
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
