that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Why are all the dvds taped to the fish tank. Really.
His mom always writes on my facebook right after we have sex. it's like she knows. with her scary mom psychic powers
I drunkenly took 3 laxatives last night since I felt fat.... this is going to be a rough morning
True enough. Do you ever think that these girls grandparents ghosts are watching you masterbate to their granddaughters and look at you in Shame?
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
well if they don't get here soon...no fuck it, I'm going to the strip club.
In other news my pubic hair is covered in glitter.
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
PROBABLY?!! And here I was, about to buy you a glow-in-the-dark banana-flavored cock ring... Now I "probably" won't.
Randomize
