I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Most of the time people just stick whatever they want in my mouth. Thanks for letting me decide this time
I woke up with a Nike swoosh shaved into my chest hair. my friend got 3 stitches. my phone had a text that simply read "fuck you". I say it was a good party.
So i wrote 'don't sex me' on my stomach, so that if we got to a point where my shirt is off - he would know how i really feel, not just the alcohol talking
how did that work out?
Well, all the water washed it off, so we ended up fucking since i didn't have my reminder...
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
I just found out I lost my virginity the same day my parents did, 25 years later. This is my life.
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
You were walking around in your swim suit, an open robe, snow boots and a death grip on that handel of captain morgan.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
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