i asked a few people if they wanted to make pancakes with me but no one would. thats why i'm drunk by myself right now
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
we traced the origins of this shit fest of a relationship back to a single instance of road head. then we did a reinacment
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
I dont know about you but I'm not getting out of bed this summer for anything but food or sex
As a matter of fact, I am on the treadmill with the Bottle of UV Blue as we speak.....
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
So she said she could really go for a cheeseburger and I remembered I had one in my pocket. No idea where it came from.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
