Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
There's that certain point at night when you start saying things like s'mores should be used in foreign relations. I reached it.
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
is it bad that I'm more worried about having to take out my piercings than the fact that I might be having a kid
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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