Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
i put his shirt in a ziplock bag to preserve his smell
please tell me you are kidding me
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Someone asked me what I was drinking, I was drinking rum, but I was also eating starbursts so i told them "daiquiris"
she chugged a bowl of salsa and then gave my ferret weight loss tips. she's like my fucking spirit animal now
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
