can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
By the way if you come home and I'm not wearing pants, just go with it. I didn't have the energy to go searching for some.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
In times of desperation, never...NEVER put green apple scented hand sanitizer on your vagina.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
orgy was averted by karaoke, thank god
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
My "birthday sex" consisted of approximately 25 seconds of him going down on me in the shower.
Randomize
