Keeping hand sanitizer and lube in the same drawer in the same size bottle = awful idea
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
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