Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
Just remembered throwing your phone at your face in a half-drunk stupor the other morning when your alarm went off. Thought I should apologize.
You saying I have a drinkingg problem is like saying Superman has a flying problem.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
The condoms have been found. I repeat: THE CONDOMS HAVE BEEN FOUND. he isn't a collector!!!
I'm glad that we laid to rest the suspicion that he was keeping them in a scrapbook. yayy
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
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