if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
She had to put it in. I told her I was too drunk and didnt trust myself to not put it in her ass.
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
The cops walked in and cracked up bec he was passed out on the couch in a pink tutu.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
I'd rather be sodomized with a fullly decorated Christmas tree.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
This guy kept trying to use "see? I'm clean. Cleared by the plasma place today." as a pick up line. This is not okay.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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