i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
i would punch a child for taco bell
Its about making memories worth repressing
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have more bruises, scratches, and overall soreness from my birthday weekend than my car accident.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I'm really starting to miss his dick. Like so much I'm actually tempted to try and work things out with him again.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
I just made a drink so ill shit. It's goona be great. Ill tell you about it when you get here. Get pumped. For my shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
So you're on like a list there now..."Do not under any circumstances give this person a knife. Serve them in plastic cups ONLY"
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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