I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
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Just make sure my intervention has a theme...
She kept telling people I wrecked her brain. That high.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
We're about to play the try not to vom at the president's house game...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
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