when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
My dream of liquor pitchers came true
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
she fucked me tho cuz it was her cat's birthday. As soon as we were done she just says "ahhh tequila tuesdays"
You asked her to play "the coma game" with you while hooking up, and then passed out in her bed. She couldn't wake you up so she slept on the floor.
Looks like I won that one
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
Tonights drinking will be celebratory and victorious. Picture the end of The Mighty Ducks set to beer.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
And I might have stolen a bag of Doritos out of Matt's car and hid them in my bag and gave individual chips out to people dancing, trying to convince people they were mini tacos.. Like why Am I allowed to be an adult
I'm watching Pretty Woman alone and weaving a basket for Fiona. This is my life.
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
I woke up and there is a small Irish man playing call of duty in my room. Discuss.
Randomize
