then you asked me to turn your jeans into "jorts" just long enough to cover your ballsack
he passed out on the stove with a cup in his hand. yes the pictures are hilarious
You kept telling me to "raw dog" your take home breathalyzer without the mouthpiece
Look dude, you cant keep blaming everything on the new years party. Its february...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wasted on the beach. There's children everywhere. A six year old girl even stood over me with her hands on her waist looking down on me as I was passing out by the water
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
ok perfect im about to bedazzle our mini keg named hans. he is ready to rage
Jerry got outside again, i found him making dirt angels in the garden. I need to put a bell on that bastard.
I tried to trade my phone for pizza last night. I guess I had priorities last night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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