In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
this is you don't wonder off at 3 am with no pants on. Just stay there and pray to god you don't get arrested for being on school property.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
I just totok an inventory of my purse: 1 apple, 1 pair of underwear, 7 condoms, $18 in ones, a check with "for sexual healing" in the subject line, and a 4 oz bottle of wine.
Oh! and a letter from a judge saying I got an interview. Cause that balances it out.
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Sending emails to my new boss whilst unable to move from the toilet seat because of alcohol. Great start to a new job as a school counselor.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
I'm about to make existential crisis tacos.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
He's asking how tall I am he wants to make a body suit out of me
Randomize
