just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
It's shedding
I told you penises don't tan
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She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I say we get drunk before the exam tomorrow. At least then we have a valid excuse for failing.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
So besides your brother walking in on you shaving and singing "I'm gonna get asssss" how was your night
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
No he reached for my hand at the beach. I pretended to be a seagull.
Vulcans are sexy now IT HAS BEEN WAY TOO LONG SINCE I'VE GOTTEN LAID
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