it sucked. he totally couldn't get it up. blamed it on never having cheated b4. Couldn't stop laughing. fuck.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
If I had a dick as big as yours. The world would be an oyster. An oyster smaller than my big penis
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Nothin ruins a fine afternoon like shitting ur pants
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
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