Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
Just watched a guy pause a bluetooth convo to puke outside of esso. gotta love orangeville
Tid bit for you to add to your "what to expecting when you're expecting to lose your virginity" book... Sex on nyquil is cheaper and BETTER than sex on esctacy AND you sleep like a champ after so you're not able to think about any bad decisions made.
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
You have mono. It's like being pregnant, your are excused from normal social niceties like responding to people.
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
Did April legit get married in a parking lot?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize