I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
Dude..masurbate with cocoa butter lotion..its like cocoa pebbles just gave me a hand job
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
just letting you know that jen either: wasn't feeling well and ate grass to make herself throw up or threw up because she's stupid and ate grass
He wouldn't let me ride him with a Ninja Turtles hat on...
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
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