You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
He gives me the same feeling I get when someone puts a margarita or German chocolate cake in front of me
Tell me you're alive little brother. And please tell me you didn't get arrested. You made no fucking sense last night in your random texts and pictures you were sending me.
Randomize
