my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
See,its just the last time this situation happened I ended up hiding in a closet on my birthday
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a new button on my vibrator, tonight was a success
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
there is puke in my bra ... again
Bro, I live in a constant state of existential dread and moderate ennui. The prospect of cosmic horror doesn’t faze me that much.
Randomize