You're mentally unstable and I would hate to be you
I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I just found blacked-out interviews on my voice recorder. Go journalism.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
I woke up at 5am on my couch, naked, with a cereal bowl of water next to me. Apprently, drunk me thought I was a kitten last night. Super impressed I slept next to the bowl all night and didn't spill a drop.
Randomize
