it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
Lady with a stroller in a bar. Think she's out of my league?
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
you know you go to a catholic school when you are rollin a joint with matthew 14:1-12
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
new rule: i'm not touching his penis until he takes me out to dinner.
you know, if you actually abided by that rule there would be many more successful restauranteurs in ohio.
Note to self: don't jizz on a surface cleaned with Tilex. It WILL turn purple.
He threw up in the campfire, the alcohol in his puke caught on fire. Im marrying this man
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I received a sext from my girlfriend, and a deal for free chips and guacamole at chipotle at the same time. I have tasted heaven, and it is beautiful.
You puked on the bar then proceeded to walk out. I told the bartender some girl walked up, puked and left and he gave me a free drink. Hope you got home safe.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
When he mumbled "I can't feel my legs," proceeded to stand, fall over, and just lay there I knew I'd given great head...
Randomize