the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
Yo, if someone calls you asking for John Stamos, just go with it.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
VASECTOMY FOR THE WIN
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