I just got cut off for correcting the bartender's grammar. I should have never accepted that fucking editors position.
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
Yah at one point i was listening to metallica and doing pushups last night. I went thru alot of emotions.
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Omg yes! I just found a random muffin! Don't question it. Just praise the miracle.
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Are you on your way? Get your date and black out with me. Democracy's at stake.
i woke up this morning put my hand under the pillow and there was a banana there
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
