We need to start having sex underwater more often.
just masturbated through my pocket at the library. hope you're enjoying your saturday night out.
Woke up un the hot tuv. Climbed out fo the hot tub and fell asleeo. Woke ip again in the hot tub.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
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