He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
she told me her fantasy was her as a 55 year old cook at a truck stop who smokes a pack a day, and I was the 21 year old illegal immigarnt prep cook.
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
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then he pulled down his pants, and i just stared for about a minute..... i was so confused. i didnt know my cat could have a bigger penis than an 18 year old man.
remember the used condom we threw behind my bed? my mom found it and is accusing me and making a big deal out of it,
Haha! You pissed me off, so I actually told her to go look behind your bed. Good thing I moved to Nevada, so your dad can't kick my ass. Good luck bitch.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
I just past a guy who was biking and double fisting wit glass beer bottles. That is what i call talent
It's like, "you literally have no idea who i am but i definitely slept with your brother in your bed."
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pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
So I totally just used margarita salt for a body scrub.
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
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