Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
Her problem is just that he inner beauty is just as ugly as her physical beauty
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
so in 24 hours i have gotten caught having sex in my car by a cop, almost burnt off my vag, almost got hit by a semi, and got fired. awesome.
Randomize
