oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
your friend did not want a bj. we need to leave. this is very awkward.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
I have to shave my legs first. I'm afraid tiny woodland creatures will fly out if he tries touches them.
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
Is there a reason drunk me put drunk you's phone in the freezer?
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
His hair is as curly as mine. It was like watching me go down on myself.
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