Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I just saw a man salute the budweiser truck on the highway. I want to follow him and shake his hand.
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
Just found my DARE notebook from 6th grade. Extacy was starred and highlighted.
At least I've made one childhood dream come true
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude they had a "sorry for partying" wall in their house which consisted if all the hospital bills, tickets, detox receipts and court orders they've gotten. The ENTIRE wall was covered.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
Three Asian guys got on the elevator with a handle of Hennessey and a sleeping bag. This is not the start of a joke.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
even my drug dealer wished me a happy birthday before my mother did.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
So he cheated on his gf again. For the third time. Second time with me. HE CRIED WHILE DRIVING ME HOME BECAUSE HE CHEATED ON HER. And I laughed the entire way. Good god I'm an asshole.
You woke up, looked straight at me and screamed "fuck barbara streisand!" and passed out again
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