Herpes is a lot like Arnold Schwartzenneger. Because it always comes back. Also, because it is usually in some way in control of California.
And no, shaving doesn't make it look bigger, either
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
I think thats the most anyones ever pregamed for rollerskating
This place doesnt have redbull or serve shots. Its like they are at war with fun.
He has in a pan: ten pieces of bacon, two cloves of garlic, an egg (not scrambled or hard boiled, just an egg) and frozen corn.
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
He's not letting me leave till I cum. I am a hostage to my own vagina
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
I tried to be mean but not so mean that he won't bone me next weekend
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
You peed in the sink and kept shouting "I'm the black swan! Ca-caw!"
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