At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
I woke up to blood crusted on my face. I don't understand
team rage. no explanation necessary
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
Every time you talk about your facial hair I immedately get horny
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
